Does my therapist think about me?

Have you ever wondered if your psychologist thinks about you in between sessions? It is one of the general dinner party conversations I might get asked when people want to find out about life as a psychologist, and I think could be a common question after visiting a psychologist. As with any human relationship, it might be reassuring to know someone is thinking of you, even when not in their presence.

In my experience, the simple answer is yes. Sometimes I think about a client when I realized I haven’t seen them in a while and I wonder how they are going. I have often wanted to reach out just to ask if they are ok but think better of it and prefer to empower them to call me if they need to.

Sometimes I think of a profound statement from a client that replays in my head and I am reminded I may need to apply it to an aspect of my own life. Sometimes a client is facing a dilemma and I later think of a new way of looking at it that we didn’t discuss, and I hold in mind for next time.

Sometimes clients tell me really funny, intriguing or shocking stories about a particular time or a place. Their story might be the only knowledge I have of this time or place so it becomes like a second-hand “memory” I keep in long-term storage. If I ever come across that place I remember the story and perhaps the client who told me. Yes occasionally, I have woken up in the middle of the night and had a worried thought about someone who was in a negative mental state when I saw them.

What about your training, you wonder? Yes our thorough and specific clinical training helps us both - do as much as we can within our professional boundaries during session; and to practice self-care so we can ‘let go’ of unnecessary thoughts when we leave work and not become personally attached to clients. This topic could probably be a blog post for another day…

I think speaking with other psychologists, it is simply a part of our inner world to hold people and stories in mind, and a privilege it is.